Junk

Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb.

Selamat pagi, Buenas Diaz, GOOD MORNING EVERYBADEH! It's 1 am in the morning. Status: Still awake~
Here I am again, see, udah lama ya ga posting. Mood-moodan sih. Udah yaaa terakhir abis lebaran itu deh (check downward to see when the last time I blogged). Okay. can you guess what I wanna share this morning? Ah lu mah ga jauh-jauh paling cerita sekolahan kan Nad? Iyap betul! But it's different, guys. Okeh ah ini besok sekolah ya dan lo tau, besok presentasi Jepang yang kartonnya dibikin sampe maghrib di sekolaan itu juga masih ada yang kurang, mana kelompok pertama lagi. Kan out of topic -_-. Straight to the point, I BROKE UP!
Miapaaaa Nad? Lebay~ Yeah it's our decision actually though he asked for it first then nothing I could say than "YES". Sedih? Sakit? Iya! First heart break I felt.
Um, have I told you about him before? No? Yes? Maybe yes maybe no? No answer? *krik* Dia ituuu blewer, benge. Let me tell you the truth, I accepted him not because I liked him first, but I did because of his effort to get me is (lumayan lah) worth it. Because he already known that I liked somebody else, but he still tried to get my attention (wedeh gawaaaat :3). Aaaaand I just gave him a chance, I thought that maybe he wasn't that benge inside. I would find out. And I did. He was a good boy, he treated me well. Ya mungkin juga ini the first time ya I had a boyfriend, jujur aja jadi yaa I don't have another boy to compare with. 5 months we were getting along.
In the 5th month, I felt he changed (a bit). Perilakunya aneh, naik turun, kadang baik banget mesrah (pake 'h') kayak biasa. Tapi kadang cueeeeek banget. Terus di sekolah juga aneh gitu, pernah dia jadi diem gitu. It's sooo not him! What was just happening? Yeah he said that he only made me embarrased at class. Hem, hell yeaaah, you did. And after bla...bla...bla... problems, we decided to end this relationship (not) happily.
Actually what I really wanted to share this morning is the "after", pasca, kejadian kelam itu. Okeh, kira-kira 3 hari pertama all I could do was crying if I remembered how we were. Seminggu pertama, udah engga nangis tapi (masih) belom ikhlas. Daaaaan seterusnya, BI-A-SA. Setelah putus ya, kita masih baik parah. Ya sebenernya itu sih, jujur aja ya, mau ga mau karena kita sekelas. I don't want make my class atmosphere not enjoyable like it used to. Gaenak lah ya udah tau temen sekelas itu semuanya gila, no days without laughing deh. Have fun parah pokoknya di kelas. Terus semua kesenangan yang ga bisa gue dapet kalo di rumah (karena sepi) disia-siain gitu aja cuma karena satu orang? Ya engga laaaah. Sabodo teuing deh.
AND! This is the top part of this "Junk". I just found out that he already taken with somebody else. Only 15 days after we BU. And I know who she is. The fact is she already closed with him since we were on. But from the clarification of him, he said that "Yeah, she likes me. But I'm not, Nad" Absolutely, truly believed him. Yah sudahlah. Pokoknya ada "something" dari penjelasannya itu yang masih gue ga ngerti, ambigu, ngambang, terbang-terbang. Now I know, dia itu kayaknya ga merasa nyaman sama gue karena kita sekelas. Dia, ga mau bikin malu gue lagi sama perilaku dia yang zuper duper sipirili benge di kelas. Okay I can't elaborate what "benge" means actually he is. Tapi yaaa you have to visit my class if you really really really wanna know. I must confess that he's a good looking boy, apalagi sekarang udah kurusan. Tapi you must be thinking twice after you see how he is at class. Like I did 5 years ago~ huft.
After I saw the status that blabla is in relationship with blabla I made this status

"CONGRATULATION FOR YOU BOY! IT PROVES THAT ALL THIS TIME WAS A LIE. THANKS FOR MAKING ME REALIZE THAT I'M TOO HIGH FOR YOU :D"

The question is, why I said "All this time was a lie and you make me realize that I'm too high for you"? Gila! Narsis banget lu Nad, bilang lo 'ketinggian' buat dia, siapa lo? Wedeh gawaaat jangan nyolot sih nanyanya, woles woles *tepukdadalanjutsaman* (lah). Gini gini, ini kan blog official gue ya, emang di sini tempatnya gue bikin klarifikasi semuanya BUAKAKAKAK cem iyaaa aja. Loh, gue ga asal ngomong loh ya, karena hubungan kita masih amat sangat baik (bahkan masih mesra (ga pake 'h')) kita itu malah jadi sering cerita gitu kenapa2nya gimana2nya. Nah dari situ gue tau banyak dan I can conclude that all this time he felt I didn't give my attention as much as he gave. Dibilangnya gue sering cuek gitu, ga kayak mantan2nya yang perhatian banget, soalnya katanya yang suka duluan itu dia, jadi gue cuek. Lah? Dan yang gue tau dari beberapa 'spy' gue, dia itu ga suka kalo gue deket-deket akrab banget pas lagi nanya pelajaran gitu. Yaaa cuma ke 'beberapa' orang aja sih emang, ga semua. Tapi ya, hellloooooo itu lagi belajar yaa. Yaudahlah skip aja. Jealous mah biasa. Nah yang gue maksud dengan "too high" adalah dia ga bisa berpikir seperti cara gue berpikir. Dia dewasa kok, tapi pemikiran dia itu masih kadang objektif dan cuma liat dari satu sisi aja. Jadi kita ga seimbang gitu pemikirannya. Padahal gue seneng kalo ngeliat dia lagi serius sama sesuatu, cuma sedihnya dia begitu itu jarang banget ;(. Nah itu!
Terus kenapa gue bilang "all this time was a lie"? Ya jadi ternyata feeling ga enak yang selama ini, terutama di bulan kelima ya itu ternyata bener kan. Yang gue bilang di atas tadi penjelasan dia masih ngambang-ngambang itu kan that makes me can't believe him like before. It proved at last. Time does talk the truth. It releases facts. Bener kan wanita itu (sebut saja dia Mawar), dia emang, maap ya, centil. Dan kalian tau guys? *nadasokasik* Pas udah ada status blabla turns from "in a relationship" to "single", langsung di like yaaa, isengnya gue nge-like juga deh -,-. Widiiih ngarep banget ya Mba?!? Ambil tuh!

"My parents taught me to give my toys to the less fortunate… that’s why I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else." taken from Twitter - @idillionaire

Hope you both will happy :) Surely you will be more happy with someone that love you first than someone that you love first because you don't have to take more struggle to get her, as you did to me. However, because of that, I feel I'm special, high. hahahaha :D
First, thank you for giving me such a feeling in a "more than friend" relationship that I firstly in. Second, thank you for loving, missing, and giving me such a huge of attention that I can't turn it back as huge as you do. And the last, thank you for showing me that you're not good enough for me, can't fit me as well. But still ya, JOHAN. Jodoh di tangan Tuhan. We never know :).

I HATE OCTOBER

05/08/2011 - 10/27/2011
NAS - XOXO